1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it..
13. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind..
14. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
15. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
16. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
17. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
18. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
19. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.
20. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
21. The most important sex organ is the brain.
22. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
23. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?"
24. Always choose life.
25. Forgive everyone everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
30. Believe in miracles.
31. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
32. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
33. Your children get only one childhood.
34. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
35. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
36. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
37. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
38. The best is yet to come.
39. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
40. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Tuesday 2 November 2010
Tuesday 25 May 2010
I decided it was time to get fitter. I've always been able to find one excuse or another, but the reality is I ENJOY exercise - that's the perversity of it all. It makes me feel good to think that I'm doing something to make me healthier.
I've avoided doing much work on upper back since I ended up with a very sore back after a lot of gym work - clearly not for me. recent X-rays shows my spine bent at 90 degrees and fused from the middle down to my lower back, so I need to be careful about how I increase fitness.
Gyms are a waste of time and money in my opinion. Yes, they're great in the heart of winter when there's not much alternative but right now the sun is shining and I decided to look out that bike that I haven't ridden for ... oh... 2 years?
I am the kind of cyclist who's idea of cycling is to find the flattest canal path I can and do that for ten minutes or so, but that's not going to achieve what I want to achieve (and it means strapping the bike onto the car etc... another excuse)
2 weeks ago I got the bike looked out, pumped up the tyres, bought a helmet (yes I'm THAT rare a cyclist I never needed one!) and started out on a small run around Bo'ness. Now when I say a SMALL run, Bo'ness is pretty hilly! I went 3.08 miles (according to mapmyride), and managed an ascent of 171 feet - including a grade 1.96 climb apparently!
To say my backside was sore and my legs were dead would be an understatement!
Since then I have progressed slightly. I've now done a total of four rides. Today was the longest yet - 4.86 miles and an ascent of 308 ft - including (apparently) a grade 4.17 climb... whatever that means. At the end I was barely aching and I felt like I could have gone on for more... hows that for 'canal boy'???
The ride down the hills at the end was pretty exciting... (as you can perhaps see from the graph!) in 21st gear and couldn't keep up with the wheels... I did feel a little exposed sitting on my rickety old mountain bike wondering what was going to fall off and whether or not it'd be me...
What a beautiful day it was, and I'm glad I decided to put the excuses behind me and get on with getting fitter. And the bike is such a refreshing way to get out, especially when you're off the beaten track and can stop and take in the view.
I've avoided doing much work on upper back since I ended up with a very sore back after a lot of gym work - clearly not for me. recent X-rays shows my spine bent at 90 degrees and fused from the middle down to my lower back, so I need to be careful about how I increase fitness.
Gyms are a waste of time and money in my opinion. Yes, they're great in the heart of winter when there's not much alternative but right now the sun is shining and I decided to look out that bike that I haven't ridden for ... oh... 2 years?
I am the kind of cyclist who's idea of cycling is to find the flattest canal path I can and do that for ten minutes or so, but that's not going to achieve what I want to achieve (and it means strapping the bike onto the car etc... another excuse)
2 weeks ago I got the bike looked out, pumped up the tyres, bought a helmet (yes I'm THAT rare a cyclist I never needed one!) and started out on a small run around Bo'ness. Now when I say a SMALL run, Bo'ness is pretty hilly! I went 3.08 miles (according to mapmyride), and managed an ascent of 171 feet - including a grade 1.96 climb apparently!
To say my backside was sore and my legs were dead would be an understatement!
Since then I have progressed slightly. I've now done a total of four rides. Today was the longest yet - 4.86 miles and an ascent of 308 ft - including (apparently) a grade 4.17 climb... whatever that means. At the end I was barely aching and I felt like I could have gone on for more... hows that for 'canal boy'???
The ride down the hills at the end was pretty exciting... (as you can perhaps see from the graph!) in 21st gear and couldn't keep up with the wheels... I did feel a little exposed sitting on my rickety old mountain bike wondering what was going to fall off and whether or not it'd be me...
What a beautiful day it was, and I'm glad I decided to put the excuses behind me and get on with getting fitter. And the bike is such a refreshing way to get out, especially when you're off the beaten track and can stop and take in the view.
Rules to live by...
Rule 1. Act boldly. Time is limited.
• We think, we talk, we plan, we file them… DO SOMETHING!
• Don’t wait for clarity – it’ll never come.
• When you act, changes happen really fast!
• There will never be a right time
• The world is full of people who could do it better… but they’re all in the bar talking about it!
• Motivation does not preceed action.
• It’s never easier tomorrow – the only time to act is now.
Rule 2. Re-write your rule book. Challenge it hourly
• The rulebook is wrong. It’s fiction created by us.
• Rulebook - How the world will treat us, and how we have the “right” to treat the world. Challenge it!
• Push through the fiction.
• You DO have the potential – ignore the fear
Rule 3. Head in the direction of where you want to arrive - every day
• Keep the plan in mind and do something every day to get there.
• Make space in the clutter to pursue the dream
• Today matters.
• Find the goal which excites you and go for it.
Rule 4. It's all in the mind
• If the voice dictates our actions 5 times a day, that’s 124,000 decisions in a lifetime that have been taken by the tiger rather than our heart and soul.
• The voice can paralyse you., or support you.
• Everyone has the voices – you are not unique.
• Know what and why you’re doing what you’re doing, and the voice can be overcome
Rule 5. The tools you need are all around you
• Help and support is all around. Pick up the phone.
• You can’t pull off anything exciting and worthwhile without others
• Once you’ve decided where you’re going, you will see solutions all around.
• If we’re not working with others, we’re not doing exciting enough things.
Rule 6. There is no safety in numbers
• Have the courage of your convictions.
• You have to be doing SOMETHING, making it happen
• People will judge us. That’s irrelevant.
• Sometimes we will get it wrong. That’s ok.
• Stand alone when you need to, to do the right thing.
• Be on the track, not an observer.
• Life is too short not to be in the race.
Rule 7. Do something scary every day
• This is not about endangering life and limb
• Deal with risk – practice the risk
• Move outside the comfort zone to help you realise it’s ok
• Exercise the fear muscle
• When there’s a choice of safe or scary, choose scary.
Rule 8. Understand and control your time to create change.
• Invest time. It’s our most precious and scarce resource.
• The time we waste is our one shot disappearing.
• Your stock of time is depleting and can never be replaced.
• You are writing the story of your life. It’s happening NOW!
• Recognise you’re the one standing in the way – you are writing your own story, no-one else.
Rule 9. Create disciplines. Do the basics brilliantly
• Behind every sexy, exciting moment, there is a lot of drudgery to make it happen.
• Define the foundations, know what they are, and do them every day.
• What is the one thing that, if you did it brilliantly every day, would most impact the outcome of your story?
Rule 10. Never, never give up.
• Recognise that giving up has consequences!
• When there are dark days, down days, when the future is misty and dark, do not give up!
• Will you be ok with giving up, when it’s too late to go back?
http://www.tamingtigers.com
• We think, we talk, we plan, we file them… DO SOMETHING!
• Don’t wait for clarity – it’ll never come.
• When you act, changes happen really fast!
• There will never be a right time
• The world is full of people who could do it better… but they’re all in the bar talking about it!
• Motivation does not preceed action.
• It’s never easier tomorrow – the only time to act is now.
Rule 2. Re-write your rule book. Challenge it hourly
• The rulebook is wrong. It’s fiction created by us.
• Rulebook - How the world will treat us, and how we have the “right” to treat the world. Challenge it!
• Push through the fiction.
• You DO have the potential – ignore the fear
Rule 3. Head in the direction of where you want to arrive - every day
• Keep the plan in mind and do something every day to get there.
• Make space in the clutter to pursue the dream
• Today matters.
• Find the goal which excites you and go for it.
Rule 4. It's all in the mind
• If the voice dictates our actions 5 times a day, that’s 124,000 decisions in a lifetime that have been taken by the tiger rather than our heart and soul.
• The voice can paralyse you., or support you.
• Everyone has the voices – you are not unique.
• Know what and why you’re doing what you’re doing, and the voice can be overcome
Rule 5. The tools you need are all around you
• Help and support is all around. Pick up the phone.
• You can’t pull off anything exciting and worthwhile without others
• Once you’ve decided where you’re going, you will see solutions all around.
• If we’re not working with others, we’re not doing exciting enough things.
Rule 6. There is no safety in numbers
• Have the courage of your convictions.
• You have to be doing SOMETHING, making it happen
• People will judge us. That’s irrelevant.
• Sometimes we will get it wrong. That’s ok.
• Stand alone when you need to, to do the right thing.
• Be on the track, not an observer.
• Life is too short not to be in the race.
Rule 7. Do something scary every day
• This is not about endangering life and limb
• Deal with risk – practice the risk
• Move outside the comfort zone to help you realise it’s ok
• Exercise the fear muscle
• When there’s a choice of safe or scary, choose scary.
Rule 8. Understand and control your time to create change.
• Invest time. It’s our most precious and scarce resource.
• The time we waste is our one shot disappearing.
• Your stock of time is depleting and can never be replaced.
• You are writing the story of your life. It’s happening NOW!
• Recognise you’re the one standing in the way – you are writing your own story, no-one else.
Rule 9. Create disciplines. Do the basics brilliantly
• Behind every sexy, exciting moment, there is a lot of drudgery to make it happen.
• Define the foundations, know what they are, and do them every day.
• What is the one thing that, if you did it brilliantly every day, would most impact the outcome of your story?
Rule 10. Never, never give up.
• Recognise that giving up has consequences!
• When there are dark days, down days, when the future is misty and dark, do not give up!
• Will you be ok with giving up, when it’s too late to go back?
http://www.tamingtigers.com
Thursday 22 April 2010
Monday 12 April 2010
Isn't she lovely... isn't she wonderful...
As we say our farewells to Catherine Elliot (nee Goodfellow), Hayley Catherine Cottle is born. A beautiful little baby girl.
My niece had her first wee boy just after my father died, and now her lovely baby girl just after we lost my mum.
Saddness turn to happiness with a tiny tinge of regret that they never saw their great grandchildren who they would have loved beyond all words.
She's simply beautiful and I wish her all the happiness, luck and love that the world can bring her.
Wednesday 3 March 2010
Mum's memorial
Scattered ashes at Gran's grave.
Gran died in 1939 (when mum was 12) so needless to say I never knew her, but she was always in mum's heart.
Now they are reunited
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
They say you’ve gone to Heaven,
I know that it is true.
But the longing that’s within my heart
Is just to be with you.
They say you’ve gone to Heaven.
And that I can rely
on everyone around me,
To hold me when I cry.
They say you’ve gone to Heaven.
But where can Heaven be?
It’s every thought of you I have
And all your things I see.
They say you’ve gone to Heaven,
And that the pain will go.
But I know you are here with me
‘cos God has told me so
Gran died in 1939 (when mum was 12) so needless to say I never knew her, but she was always in mum's heart.
Now they are reunited
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
They say you’ve gone to Heaven,
I know that it is true.
But the longing that’s within my heart
Is just to be with you.
They say you’ve gone to Heaven.
And that I can rely
on everyone around me,
To hold me when I cry.
They say you’ve gone to Heaven.
But where can Heaven be?
It’s every thought of you I have
And all your things I see.
They say you’ve gone to Heaven,
And that the pain will go.
But I know you are here with me
‘cos God has told me so
Wednesday 24 February 2010
The strength in family
When a family member dies, there's a RIDICULOUS number of decisions to be made but it's so much easier when you can discuss it as a family - especially when the departed is a parent.
I drew a lot of strength from being with my Brother and Sister at this time - we don't spend much time together normally, it's been nice to just be together joined in purpose and direction.
We've laughed together, cried together, taken care of business together, and that's been such a help. At times I felt sorry for my lovely wife, we were reminiscing about things that she had no knowledge of, but she has been my rock in the background, always there with plenty of hugs and words of love and support - I couldn't do this without her.
So I guess the message for today is love your family if you can and appreciate them if you can. There is an amazing strength in the love of a good family.
We'll need all the strength we can find on Monday, but thankfully even more of the family and friends will be there. We'll get through it.
Goodnight mum. Sleep well. We will always love you. We miss you dreadfully.
Thursday 18 February 2010
Why am I soft in the middle?
It's hard to let go of a loved one.
There's a myriad of feelings that go along with seeing someone very close fade away - and it's hard to define exactly whether or not they're purely selfish or not.
Does it hurt because we feel we're losing something, or does it hurt because we altruistically want that person do be well and happy?
I suspect a bit of both, but does it matter? Isn't it natural to react to the threat of an imminent loss? Especially when you've spent nearly 50 years with that person in your life, from birth to middle age...
I find myself looking back at old photographs and instead of happiness at the good times, I find discomfort at the passing of those good times. A gap is opening up in my heart and I can't fill it with any kind of joy, no matter how I try.
I know she's had a hard life, but she's also had her fun times - and that's just life. There is no escaping or avoiding it, so what is the weight on my chest all about and how do I move past it?
My head is full of maudlin thoughts and it's hard to push them to the back and focus on the life part of life and death.
I'm glad I have my family and friends - they're a strength I never thought I'd need... Mr. Independent finds himself looking outwards as well as inwards for support - now there's a novelty!
I love you mum.
I'm grateful for all you've given me and I hope that in some way I have returned a small part of that. I remember all the good times and how much you sacrificed for me.
I'm sorry I can't make things better or easier for you, it's outwith my power now.
But I'll be there for you, beside you, until peace and rest descends. I wish I had more to give.
There's a myriad of feelings that go along with seeing someone very close fade away - and it's hard to define exactly whether or not they're purely selfish or not.
Does it hurt because we feel we're losing something, or does it hurt because we altruistically want that person do be well and happy?
I suspect a bit of both, but does it matter? Isn't it natural to react to the threat of an imminent loss? Especially when you've spent nearly 50 years with that person in your life, from birth to middle age...
I find myself looking back at old photographs and instead of happiness at the good times, I find discomfort at the passing of those good times. A gap is opening up in my heart and I can't fill it with any kind of joy, no matter how I try.
I know she's had a hard life, but she's also had her fun times - and that's just life. There is no escaping or avoiding it, so what is the weight on my chest all about and how do I move past it?
My head is full of maudlin thoughts and it's hard to push them to the back and focus on the life part of life and death.
I'm glad I have my family and friends - they're a strength I never thought I'd need... Mr. Independent finds himself looking outwards as well as inwards for support - now there's a novelty!
I love you mum.
I'm grateful for all you've given me and I hope that in some way I have returned a small part of that. I remember all the good times and how much you sacrificed for me.
I'm sorry I can't make things better or easier for you, it's outwith my power now.
But I'll be there for you, beside you, until peace and rest descends. I wish I had more to give.
I am too tired
To move on, or to mind the paths traveled.
Where I find moonlight and gentle breezes,
I shall unload, lay down, and rest in peace.
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