Friday, 25 May 2012

Which way to Woolwich Barracks?

Well, well, well... it's been a funny old year and I haven't blogged much but as many you of you will by now know, I have been selected to represent my country at one of the greatest sporting shows on earth, and a home games to boot. Since the day Sandy Gregory said to me 'you might classify for the disabled squad' it's been a rollercoaster of epic proportions.

I vividly remember the first camp I went to to be classified... Thanks to Helen George I was given the opportunity to be seen by Tim Hazel during one of her Talent ID weekend (it's all HER fault! :) ). I remember Tim's supportive comments, but what was most interesting was my reaction to being classified disabled by Pauline Betteridge... I'd never considered myself disabled... you see, few disabled people do! We get on with life, keep taking the painkillers, and make the best of what we have to work with and try to be as 'normal' as possible. Once classified I had to accept my issues... it was a bitter sweet moment... yay! I'm disabled!... oh...

I vividly remember the first time I wore the GB top. Proud as punch and twice as happy. I shot like a twat that shoot. I lost solidly in the first head to head match. Game over... I was so upset. I felt like I'd let everyone down, my team, my coaches - how naieve I was... nobody cared that much but me. It simply meant too much to me. I got a good talking to from my good mate and fellow archer Mick Beard (he's on here somewhere :) ) I've never forgotten the time out he took to put his arm around me and kick me verbally in the ass.... it meant a lot, and still does.

I remember too the time I went to the FITA coaching conference in Korea. We visit Seoul and went round the Olympic Museum in the Olympic Park there... the hairs on my neck stood on end and I decided there and then I wanted to do this, be part of the greates sporting show on earth.

Mick went on to Beijing and I didn't because AGB (or certain senior people in AGB) didn't want to take the risk on me not getting an international classification... (despite the fact that others had done it before me) I got it in June that year, but by that time AGB and their preparations for Beijing had moved on without me, but I didn't lose faith in the dream.

From that point on I gathered good people around me. Positive people, people who could help me. I found that help was out there, but was rarely brought to me - I had to dig, ask questions, be a bit cheeky and get what help I could by hook or by crook.

Anyway - long story short. This year I was invited to the selection shoot for London. The scary part began. My first selection shoot was a disaster. I shot poorly as I was ill. My wife had been ill all week and I was fated to get it. I finished day 1, 60 points behind 3rd place. they cancelled the second day due to extreme weather, and I was never so glad. I could barely stand let alone shoot straight. Someone somewhere was looking out for me!

Selection shoot two was 'interesting'. I shot average on day 1, but the guy I needed to catch, David Gardner, a good friend and good archer, shot a blinder! So I dropped to nearly 100 points behind!!! I felt like it was game over. I took myself away that evening and played Half Life 2 for 4 hours... I killed things and blew sh*t up. I felt sorry for myself, but I wasn't ready to give up.

I was frustrated as I'd beaten all the guys just weeks before. I KNEW I could do this. I knew I was capable of being the best in the team. I'd done it the year before in the selection shoot for the Worlds, I wiped the board on that occasion, and I wasn't done yet.

Day 2 I shot well. I got my head down and just worked the arrows. I won the majority of my matches. I went from 100 points behind to 30 points behind. I got more points than all of the guys I was shooting against - this was the determined, never give up, me. I was knackered, sore, tired, losing the will to live, but I fought for every point, every match.

I left the range that day happy that I'd done my best. I'd given 100%. I'd given the head coach a headache. I was still behind, but I'd shown my mettle in the head to heads - and that's where medals are won and lost, but I was set in my heart that it wasn't enough and that I wouldn't be in London.

I was just pleased that through this journey, my wife Hazel (coach with the squad) WOULD be there and I was glad that I'd taken her on a journey that would give her that life experience and opportunity. I was ready to go back to the day job.

On Monday I received a phone call from the Performance Director Sarah Symington. I nearly hit the deck when she told me I'd made the team. My first thought was 'WOW!', my second thought was for my good friend Dave Gardner who'd been dropped... bitter sweet.

Since Monday it's been a blast... keeping it quiet, knowing yet being unable to say. Waiting for the day when I could share the news with my friends and family, and yesterday was a day of outpouring of good wishes and good vibes.

Thanks to everyone around me, I'll be going to London! It still doesn't seem real...

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